RWWAI 19

Chapter 19: I Eat Spicy, But I Don't Eat Numb

Once the seafood hotpot was served, Luo Fan's behavior grew even weirder.

"When you were little, whose was the very first CD you ever bought?"

"When you took your college entrance exams, COVID probably wasn't a thing yet, right?"

"Were the mice in your hometown the size of cats?"

"Do you eat your savory tofu pudding sweet or salty?"

"When you buy radishes at the wet market, do you buy them by the single root or by the catty?"

Finally, I snapped and said, unable to take it any longer:

"Are you out of your damn mind?! What is this, a household census survey?! So what if I'm from the south?! Is having snow in your hometown some kind of flex?!"

Seeing that I was thoroughly annoyed, Luo Fan just flashed a goofy,憨-like smile and said:

"No reason... just... I feel like I'm way smarter than I thought."

I decided to ignore this certified lunatic and focus on my hotpot.

Seeing me dive in, Luo Fan chuckled stupidly and picked up his chopsticks as well.

The second a piece of scalded fish hit his mouth, however, he scrunched up his face in disgust and muttered:

"Ugh, this is so fishy!"

With a cold expression, I pointed my chopsticks at the mountain of dipping sauces spread out in front of us and said:

"There's sauce right there and you refuse to use it—you totally brought this on yourself!"

Luo Fan's mouth drooped. He dipped his chopsticks into one of the sauces on the table, wrinkled his nose again, and complained:

"How come there's no spicy stuff?"

Unbothered, I replied:

"It probably hasn't been invented yet at this point in history!"

Luo Fan blinked, then abruptly spoke up:

"Zhang Yue..."

"What?"

"I eat spicy, but I don't eat numb (mala)."

he declared.

I rolled my eyes and chewed him out:

"The fuck does that have to do with me? Don't tell me you expect me to cook for you too? Do you seriously think I'm your wife now?"

Luo Fan merely smiled and said nothing more.

After dinner, as the evening breeze started turning chilly, we retreated back inside the open cabin.

I sat perched on the edge of the boat, softly humming a tune while gazing up at the starry night sky.

Since my day had genuinely gone pretty great, it looked like my mission was practically accomplished.

Suddenly, a rather terrifying thought flashed across my mind.

I whipped my head around to stare at Luo Fan, who was busy inspecting his own sword, and asked with all the color drained from my face:

"Wait... my mission isn't... supposed to be 'living for oneself forever', right?"

Luo Fan nodded blankly.

"Then how long am I supposed to keep living here? Am I stuck doing this for my whole life?!"

I asked, feeling like bursting into tears.

Luo Fan dropped his jaw, completely at a loss for how to answer me.

Fuming with anger, I stood up, pointed right at his face, and yelled:

"Why is your mission so damn specific?! Why does mine have to be so abstract?!"

Catching the panic in my frantic reaction, Luo Fan hurried to pacify me:

"My mission is super abstract too, I'm the one who had to self-interpret it into a concrete target..."

"Since when?!"

I shot back furiously.

"Didn't Qi Lu explicitly state that Qin Miaomiao's regret was having a legitimate heir?!"

"But... our solution was something we came up with ourselves..."

he argued defensively.

"Besides, 'living for oneself' means all the decision-making power rests entirely in your hands. I'm the one who has to suck up to you and beg for your help... the difficulty levels... aren't even remotely the same..."

Placing my hands firmly on my hips with an arrogant posture, I countered:

"Didn't your system say earlier that once the mission is cleared, we get to go home, right?"

Luo Fan fell silent for a brief moment, then nodded:

"Yes."

"Then... once the kid pops out, and once I become a convenience-store-tier instant mom, can we both go home?"

A glimmer of hope began to spark in my chest.

Luo Fan remained silent for another moment before saying:

"No. Just me."

I froze.

"Then what about me?"

"I don't know."

My brain flatlined.

"Then after you leave..."

I asked, sudden terror creeping into my voice.

"Is that real Qi Lu gonna come back?"

"I don't know..."

"Then go ask!"

I hollered.

"I genuinely don't know..."

Luo Fan said with a helpless expression.

"The system says: no comment."

I stared at him dead in the eyes for a solid half-minute.

Then, an epiphany hit me, and I beamed brightly:

"No worries! Before your kid is born, just whip up a divorce agreement and hand it over to me."

Luo Fan looked equally dumbfounded for a solid half-minute before he shrieked:

"Huh?!"

Laughing cheerfully, I explained:

"Once you clear your mission and bounce back home, there're only two possible outcomes anyway, right? Either you drop dead right on the spot, but all your money becomes mine—and hey, a dead husband is just a dead husband, it doesn't stop me from keeping up my pursuit of living for myself."

Under Luo Fan's bewildered gaze, I added:

"If the system plays dirty tricks and swaps you out for the genuine article Qi Lu after you leave, I should still be able to wrap him around my finger just like before. But just in case that fails, having the pre-signed divorce agreement you wrote out ahead of time gives me a solid backup escape route, doesn't it?"

Licking my lips in thought, I continued:

"A divorce agreement might not even be enough on its own. Once we're back, I should probably transfer all the land deeds currently in your name straight into mine, just in case that deadbeat refuses to cough up the cash. With my name on the deeds, he won't be able to refuse even if he wanted to."

Meeting his stunned stare, I dropped my voice into a serious tone:

"What's your problem? I'm already out here claiming the kid you made with another woman as my own, what's wrong with me taking a few plots of land off your hands?"

"That's not even a kid I made!"

Luo Fan argued defensively for dear life.

"And that's not even land you earned yourself!"

I fired right back, following his exact logic.

Luo Fan opened his mouth, clearly wanting to argue back, but ultimately admitted defeat due to sheer lack of moral high ground, letting his protests fade into silence.

Since I might be stuck grinding it out here for a while, and Luo Fan was statistically way more likely to bail before me, I decided I needed to squeeze every last drop of utility out of him.

"Hey!"

I scooted back over to the edge of the boat.

"Your mission depends entirely on me to succeed, shouldn't you pamper me properly and show some gratitude for my massive act of grace?"

Luo Fan: "Huh?"

I patted my own shoulder and commanded:

"I've been jolted around on a long journey and I'm exhausted, time for a massage! I am, after all, the great benefactor who's gonna send you home."

Reluctantly, Luo Fan dragged himself over and muttered:

"Didn't you just sit in a carriage the whole time, exactly how tired could you possibly be..."

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