RWWAI 16

Chapter 16: If It Weren't for Me

In the previous life, the assassins hadn't succeeded.

And this time was no exception.

The guards quickly subdued all the assassins.

But right as Luo Fan loosened his grip...

I realized my "fake pregnant belly" had shifted entirely out of place from the impact!

I frantically grabbed onto him and hissed in a low voice:

"Don't let go!"

Luo Fan was startled for a moment, but quickly caught on to what was happening.

"What do I do?"

he asked anxiously right beside my ear.

"You... you shield me first,"

I was sweating bullets with panic.

"I'll figure out a way to adjust it."

Right at that moment, he suddenly spoke up:

"Hold on!"

I lifted my gaze to look at him.

"Qi Lu is pretty strong, maybe I can pick you up. Bridal style—you just tuck your body inward toward me a bit, and people won't be able to tell the belly shifted, right?"

I gave a nod.

The next second, my feet were literally airborne!

Judging by how he couldn't suppress his smug grin, he must have found it pretty effortless!

Following the plan, I curled my body closer into his embrace, though I couldn't resist dropping a sarcastic comment:

"Are you actually a weakling in real life or what?"

Luo Fan chuckled awkwardly and answered honestly:

"First time carrying a woman bridal-style in this lifetime."

Under my gaze of utter disdain, Luo Fan carried me effortlessly, striding toward the entrance while remembering to toss instructions over his shoulder to the surrounding guards:

"My wife was startled just now, and being in a state of pregnancy, she shouldn't linger. I'm taking her back to the estate to rest first."

Seeing this, Qin Miaomiao also trotted over on dainty steps and followed along with us as we departed.

Just as we were about to reach the carriage, this guy suddenly decided to get childish on me:

"I reckon... I could probably carry you with just one arm!"

No sooner had the words left his mouth than he gave me a sharp bounce, and sure enough, he really did prop me up by one thigh so I sat perched on his arm like some ventriloquist's dummy.

"You're seriously so annoying!"

I complained.

Luo Fan grinned and said:

"But I think I look so cool right now."

I rolled my eyes at him.

As the saying goes, extreme joy begets sorrow.

Sure enough, the second we stepped back into the commandant's estate, Luo Fan couldn't laugh anymore.

Because once the crisis faded, the adrenaline wore off right along with it.

He finally remembered that his arm was still hurting, and with tears pooling in his eyes, he begged me to go find Doctor Zhou—who was still under house arrest—to come apply medicine and bandage him up.

Inside the bedchamber, Doctor Zhou meticulously snipped away his torn fabric.

With every single snip of the scissors, Luo Fan would let out a piercing screech.

Anyone walking past would have thought Doctor Zhou was carving slices straight out of his flesh!

I couldn't help wanting to throw a few more insults his way, but since Doctor Zhou was still standing right there, the system automatically translated my words into a bizarrely passive-aggressive tone:

"Now you know how it hurts? Do less of this kind of reckless, over-of-your-head stuff from now on." (Shut up, shut up! All you know how to do is yell like a banshee!)

With red-rimmed eyes, Luo Fan sniffled and snapped back:

"Reckless and over my head? Madam, don't forget, the person who saved your life today was none other than this reckless fool right here." (Wasn't I trying to save you too?!)

I glanced down at the sword wound—which had already stopped bleeding on its own—and scolded him with even heavier disdain:

"Just a tiny scrape like this, and it's worth howling like that? You call yourself a towering seven-foot man, and you can't even take this much pain?" (If you keep yelling any longer, the wound's going to heal itself!)

"I just can't stand pain, and I can't bear it either. Your husband is just made this way!" (I'm just terrified of pain, what are you gonna do about it?)

Even though we both knew what the other was actually trying to say, for some reason, once the system translated it, the vibe came out completely wrong.

Seeing that the medicine was finally applied, I hurried Doctor Zhou out so I could handle the rest of the bandaging myself.

Once Doctor Zhou had departed with a look of awkward embarrassment, I showed zero mercy as I yanked the gauze tight, eliciting yet another wail of agony from Luo Fan.

"Are you kidding me! You knew damn well you can't fight, why didn't you just drop to the floor and play dead? Aren't you a food delivery guy? Have you never seen someone fake a traffic accident?"

I have to admit, hearing the raw, unfiltered words come out of my mouth felt so much more satisfying.

Rubbing his injured arm with a wronged expression, Luo Fan pouted:

"The guy was an actual assassin, okay! What if he decided to stab me for good measure?"

Damn it, that actually made a fair bit of sense.

At that moment, Luo Fan suddenly piped up:

"Hey... why did you suddenly lunge over like that back there?"

With supreme exasperation, I explained:

"I wanted to tackle you flat to the ground... who the hell knew you stand like an oak tree!"

Luo Fan widened his eyes, looked down at my slender, delicate frame, then glanced back over at his own muscle-packed military-commander physique, and said in absolute disbelief:

"Do you... do you just failing at physics or something?"

Highly indignant, I hauled him to his feet and laid down a fierce challenge:

"Stand properly right there! I refuse to believe I can't knock you over!"

With that, I took a few steps backward, hitched up my skirts, channeled every ounce of strength I had, and charged straight at him at full sprint.

"Thud!"

Even though I gave it my absolute all, I still bounced harmlessly off his chest like a fluffy little kitten.

Luo Fan's body didn't even wobble by a single millimeter.

"I don't believe this!"

I roared in fury.

"It's definitely because you braced yourself! Didn't they say four ounces can deflect a thousand pounds?"

Seething with anger, I kept shoving and pushing against him to zero avail.

Gritting my teeth, I hooked my foot fiercely behind his ankle, yanked sideways while throwing my weight forward, and finally managed to tumble him backward onto the bed.

"Look at that! It is possible, right? My technique was just wrong before, my physics isn't bad!"

I straddled his chest, declaring victory with fierce defiance.

My success seemed to genuinely catch him off guard.

He stared up at me in a daze, utterly speechless for a long moment.

Only after a good while did he suddenly blurt out:

"Forget it..."

I: "Huh?"

Gazing up at me, he slowly continued:

"I don't want to try anymore. Let Qin Miaomiao think whatever the hell she wants!"

"Huh?"

Taken aback, I scrambled down and crawled off his chest.

"If it weren't for me... if Qi Lu had just stayed Qi Lu all along, you probably would've finished your mission ages ago, right?"

What was that supposed to mean?

--