7 Days CXS - 2
CHAPTER 2: Day Two
Catching a flower thief is a major event, and I couldn't just arbitrarily decide how to dispose of him.
At the same time, it wouldn’t do to report it to Eldest Brother too early, because knowing Eldest Brother’s temperament, he would most likely wave a hand impatiently and say, "Chop him into pieces and feed him to the dogs!"
So, I buried him back under a thick layer of straw, instructed Treading Snow to keep an eye on him for me, and took a couple of turns down to the pigsty to consult with Shen Pian.
Shen Pian is my younger brother and Ah-Ke’s third brother. Among the three of us siblings, he is the smartest and boasts the most luck with the ladies. Although all three of us look more or less the same, for some inexplicable reason, whenever he walks down the street, young maidens blush furiously and don't dare take a second glance.
To put it simply, just how popular is he with the girls?
When I arrived at the pigsty, he was leaning against the fence reading a book, surrounded by an entire circle of prime-age gilts.
Normally, the most appropriate way to deal with someone is to hand the job over to their natural nemesis. Since Shen Pian is beloved by women, he naturally harbors a deep-seated hatred for men—though, inversely, the reverse probably holds true as well. I figured handing this stunning, brutally honest flower thief over to him to handle was an absolute match.
However, I miscalculated by one crucial margin. When Shen Pian parted the straw and caught sight of Yin Cheng’s jade-like visage, he immediately recoiled three steps, grabbed hold of me by the arm, and remained silent for a long, lingering moment before finally speaking.
“Second Brother, I’m afraid I can’t handle him,” he said, his face a mask of profound sorrow and regret . “Even if he is a flower thief, he is just too devastatingly gorgeous. Even as a man, I simply can’t bring myself to show such ruthless destruction toward...”
Before he could even finish, I hurriedly bent down, heaped a thick layer of straw back over Yin Cheng’s face, swept away all the remaining straw covering everything from his neck down to his knees in one swift motion, and yanked Shen Pian back to take another look.
I instantly felt an aura of pure murderous intent well up from within him .
Shen Pian, who harbored a deep hatred for men, promptly offered me a brilliant solution . He proposed that we castrate him . I thought it sounded rather capital myself; if anyone dared pull a stunt like that on me while I was unconscious, I’d surely wish I were dead .
“Wielding a procedure like castration requires a certain level of technical skill and specialized tools,” I pointed out . “To get our hands on both, we’ll need to report this to Eldest Brother.”
“Eldest Brother will definitely support us,” Shen Pian said nonchalantly .
“I reckon Eldest Brother would support us killing him outright, but he wouldn’t back such a tedious, high-maintenance method.”
Shen Pian and I exchanged a glance, and in our minds, there immediately materialized the heroic, larger-than-life image of Eldest Brother waving his hand with an expression of utter annoyance and shouting, "Dragged out, chop into pieces and feed to the dogs!"
The Shen Manor is a premier estate in the jianghu. Our enemies are numerous, the enemies who get caught are numerous, and the enemies who get caught and subsequently terminated are equally numerous.
Ever since Eldest Brother took the reins, not a single vengeful adversary has ever dared to show their face outside the gates of the Shen Manor.
Instead, they’ve been replaced by packs of sleek, well-fed dogs with coats shining like oil.
Shen Pian decided to switch to an alternative plan.
“We can just chop off a localized fragment of him,” he suggested . “Throw the fragmented pieces out to feed the dogs, and that way Eldest Brother will approve.”
“I seriously doubt the dogs would agree to that, though,” I replied in all sincerity .
With our proposals shot down one after another, Shen Pian seemed to be losing his patience. He paced agitatedly back and forth across the stable, during which he was given several severe, cross-eyed glares by the fully equipped Treading Snow .
Finally, he slapped his thigh with a beaming grin: “I’ve got it!”
“What’s your plan?” I quickly leaned in to listen .
“It’s a great plan, actually—it just requires Second Brother to make a tiny personal sacrifice.”
I had a vague premonition of what he was getting at.
“Since he’s a flower thief and swings both ways, why doesn’t Second Brother give him a taste of his own medicine?”
Just as I thought.
In a certain sense, Shen Pian actually possesses immense potential for a career as a high-ranking government official.
If he sees something he dislikes, he chops it down; if he can’t chop it down, he forces it down.
Either you never appear before my eyes again, or you forever remain beneath my body.
Still, I felt quite a bit of hesitation. From childhood on, my sole focus had been martial arts training—I hadn’t even taken in a personal maidservant to share my quarters. Unlike Eldest Brother who frequented the pleasure quarters or Shen Pian who was a veteran of a hundred romantic battlefields, I couldn't even measure up to Ah-Ke; at least she spent her days secretly hiding pulp romance novels and mourning the spring. If I ever wanted to catch a glimpse of the words “love and affection,” I had to puzzle them out from the messy engravings on confiscated weapons like the “Heart-Severing Saber” or “Love-Ending Sword” seized during martial contests .
To be honest, I’ve always found it rather baffling: how on earth can a sword that even my own blade can’t snap manage to sever love?
Shen Pian adopted a deeply profound look. “At the very least, he can self-castrate,” he noted .
Shen Pian’s concern for men always stopped strictly right there. This time, however, he made an exception; not only did he impart various techniques to me, casually adding, "It’s not like I have this kind of personal hobby, but one must keep up with jianghu trends, otherwise you look terribly cheap," he also enthusiastically proposed to stick around and observe from the sidelines .
I wouldn't have minded an audience, but Yin Cheng appeared to mind quite a bit.
Because he woke up again .
“Beasts...”
As both of my legs were being hoisted up by me, Yin Cheng cried out with an expression of utter grief and indignation, before splat—he spat a mouthful of bloody froth directly across my face, tilted his head, and passed out cold once more .
“Second Brother, I think you should try a different posture,” Shen Pian suggested .
“Third Brother, I think we really ought to find the man a physician,” I wiped the blood off my face, speaking with renewed, heartfelt sincerity .
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