RWWAI 27

Chapter 27: The Joy of Noble Ladies

The baixi acrobatic performances were indeed spectacular, though I suspect nobody in the audience cared much about the actual plot—everyone was simply there to see if the male actors dressed in women's clothing looked delicate and alluring enough.

Fair is fair: after applying a heavy layer of powder and deliberately softening their postures, they certainly looked pretty good.

Only...

When it came to facial features, Doctor Zhou still came out slightly ahead.

With those thick brows, big eyes, high-nosed bridge, and that peerless temperament of his, letting him spend his days practicing medicine and saving lives was an absolute waste of talent!

As for their physiques—well, since the performers needed exceptional flexibility and fluid, swaying movements, they basically possessed the body types of male ballet dancers.

Sturdy and toned, yes, but easily thin enough to make every single rib visible beneath the skin—nothing like those hormone-explosive, double-door refrigerator Korean idols.

They might have had a modest hint of an abdominal wall, but you could forget about seeing serratus anterior muscles, Adonis belts, or pelvic lines.

Even so, after polishing off a few cups of yellow wine, the noble ladies were thoroughly entertained and having the time of their lives.

Naturally, Qin Miaomiao had never laid eyes on this kind of high-class entertainment reserved exclusively for the wealthy elite.

Starting off in absolute shock, she eventually progressed to hiding her face behind her sleeve, before finally giving in and sneaking a few furtive peeks right through the gaps between her fingers.

You know how the saying goes—"Question King Zhou, understand King Zhou, become King Zhou"?

I could tell she had already stepped firmly into the "understanding" phase, and the "becoming" phase wasn't far behind.

Likely feeling the buzz of the alcohol, Lady Jiao—the Imperial Censor's wife—stopped putting on a polite act and blurted out excitedly:

"Madam! Look at that waistline, how on earth can they bend it like that?"

Lady Lin immediately chimed in with a teasing remark:

"Well, a waist like that has to be strong, doesn't it?"

Hearing that, all the surrounding noble ladies exchanged knowing, suggestive smiles and dissolved into raucous laughter; it was clear the party had genuinely kicked into high gear.

I glanced sideways at Qin Miaomiao, who looked rather flustered beside me, and said:

"If you want to laugh, go right ahead, no need to hold back."

Tugging gently at my sleeve, Qin Miaomiao lowered her voice to whisper in my ear:

"Madam... aren't you genuinely afraid the Commandant is going to get mad?"

I looked at her and replied with utter nonchalance:

"The performers on stage were specially invited by the Minister of Revenue's wife; you and I are just sitting here enjoying the show, what on earth would he have to get mad about?"

Right at that moment, the surrounding chatter turned even more wildly uninhibited.

A noble lady dressed in green nudged a lady in yellow beside her with her elbow and giggled:

"Are you enjoying it that much, little sister? Isn't your husband still a young man? Why don't you head home tonight and make him dress up like this to properly pamper and amuse you?"

Blushing fiercely, the lady in yellow lowered her flushed face, gave the lady in green a light slap on the arm, and pouted coyly:

"My sister is bullying me again!"

Qin Miaomiao shot me an exploratory look that practically screamed, 'You can actually do that?!'

I smiled and answered:

"It's fine, as long as everyone's having fun!"

Unfortunately, since Qin Miaomiao and I were both nominally carrying pregnancies, touching a single drop of alcohol was entirely out of the question, meaning we weren't quite as "having fun" as the surrounding noble ladies.

Once the baixi performance wrapped up, Lady Lin—riding a wave of alcoholic euphoria—actually hoisted herself up from her seat, gestured toward a performer's waistline, and scoffed:

"Since he's playing the part of a woman, his waistline is still lacking a bit. Just look at that, it's not nearly slender enough!"

Hearing that, Lady Jiao gave Lady Lin a playful nudge and laughed:

"Just looking with your eyes doesn't prove anything! If you're genuinely curious, why don't you step right up and give him a feel to compare in person—see whose waist is actually slimmer, his or yours?"

Lady Lin burst into a coquettish laugh and retorted:

"How would I ever dare to actually reach out and touch him? My man isn't that broad-minded; if he ever found out, he'd throw an absolute fit and start a war with me! Besides, just look at my husband's figure... tsk, the man is so fat he's practically lost his waist entirely. If I actually went and felt someone else's, I'd have a point of comparison, and how am I supposed to live with looking at him after that?"

With that, Lady Lin shot me a mischievous, teasing look and declared:

"If you ask me, we should make the Commandant's Lady give it a try! Madam is way more capable than I am, I wouldn't dare, I certainly wouldn't dare!"

I certainly would dare, but what's so great about touching a skinny waist?

Subconsciously, my eyes drifted over toward Luo Fan's direction.

Because if I actually wanted to cop a feel, why on earth would I do it here instead of going home to touch the guy equipped with every muscle group imaginable?

Catching my movement, Qin Miaomiao offered a soft, teasing chuckle:

"And here you were saying you weren't afraid of the Commandant getting mad?"

I hurried to defend myself:

"That's not what—"

"Oh, stop it!" Qin Miaomiao laughed, pointing toward the surrounding noble ladies.

"Everyone here saw how fiercely Madam shielded the Commandant when he was ambushed at the farewell banquet!"

Holy crap! Why did this girl have such a freakishly good memory?

Little did I know, Lady Lin—who was already too sloshed to stand steady—actually chimed in to back her up:

"Precisely! Back then Madam talked so smoothly and boldly about how 'when disaster strikes, husband and wife fly apart in opposite directions', but the second actual blades came down aiming for the Commandant, didn't Madam still get a soft spot and protect him anyway?"

I let out an internal, bitter laugh!

As for the actual married couple from the previous life, they really did fly apart when disaster struck, didn't they!

Even Qi Lu's past move of shielding Qin Miaomiao now looked less like a romantic gesture and more like an attempt to protect the unborn child she was carrying!

Precisely because Luo Fan and I weren't a real married couple, we were able to stick together through thick and thin when the crunch time arrived.

Talk about irony—it's like irony opened the door for irony, and irony arrived right at home.

Right at that exact moment, the Commandant who had nearly gotten himself hacked to death—Luo Fan—actually beckoned me over from a shadowed corner.

Looking somewhat bewildered, I ambled over to him.

Catching sight of me, he stealthily fished a small flask out of his sleeve and whispered:

"Want a drink? I'll run interference and block for you, hurry up and sneak a few sips."

It looked like he remembered I was playing the role of a fake pregnant woman who couldn't touch alcohol, and had deliberately come to deliver some warmth.

I eagerly used his tall frame as cover, tilted my head back, and took a massive gulp.

A wave of sweet, fruity floral aromas instantly exploded across my palate.

Wiping my mouth after finishing the gulp, I praised:

"Why are you being so nice? You actually remembered I had no booze to drink?"

Luo Fan offered a guilty, shifty smile and replied:

"It's not just that I remembered you were dry—the guys over on the male side are getting completely hammered and starting to play drinking games. If you can polish off that whole flask, take it all; I'm gonna swap what's left inside for plain tea and go break the system playing dirty against them!"

I shot him a look that clearly said, 'I knew you weren't doing it out of the goodness of your heart,' before tossing my head back and draining the rest of the flask in one go.

Behind me, wave after wave of silver-bell-like, titillating laughter from the noble ladies continued to echo through the air.

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